a while ago i gave internet dating a try. actually no i didn't. i signed up paid thirty bucks then got scared off by the fact that people were actually interested. i'm not going to give it another go. even though in real life the opposite sex has no interest in me whatsoever, i think i'm more comfortable with being completely unapproachable/unattractive in reality rather than being overly attractive and approachable online. does that make sense? no? i didn't think so. but i know what i'm trying to say and at the end of the day that's all that matters. i just wanted a little attention and when i got what can only be described as an overwhelming response i was totally put off. plus this one guy named a bar that i frequent. that made me be a little more wary... i kinda thought i could be anonymous if i wanted, i never thought that anyone would actually recognise me.

i currently work such crappy hours that there's no time to get to know new people. well that's what i'm telling myself anyway. yes i know it's a cop out. but i just.... i don't know. nothing is settled yet. it just seems like it's too much effort. it shouldn't feel that way. so for the time being i'm just gonna be me. by myself. quiet. content. well you know as content as i can be. whatever happens will happen. i'm not one of those people who makes things happen, that requires a little motivation and confidence, two areas that i definitely lack in.

we can't all be winners.

and i'm cool with that.

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