i hate my job. the pokies are evil. i can't stand gambling. i wonder what possessed me to get my gaming licence. it's so depressing seeing people waste hundreds and even thousands of dollars. last week this old man who's a regular came up to the cashier's station and collected a little money and said that it was the first time he had gambled with his rent money and he lost most of it. it's things like that that make me hate it. i sometimes feel like i've sold my soul to the devil. but the money's too good to pass up and the hours aren't that bad, so i just have to suck it up and deal with it.

i'm going back to the restaurant which i left last year and swore i would never go back. i'm not gonna be working there legitimately, i'm just gonna fill in when they're desperate for staff on nights when i'm not working in hell. it's cash in hand so i don't have to report it to the tax office which is good. and the real reason i want to do it is because i miss the social interaction. i've already made plans to go out with some of the girls who work there, so it's good. that's what i need. not gonna get anything like that at the other place.

cameron's coming home on saturday. i made him promise me that he will go out with me on saturday night. he's flying to adelaide on sunday but i don't care if he pikes early and leaves... i just need him to be there while i get nicely toasted and then i won't care if he leaves without me. plus it was his birthday on tuesday and i wanna take him out for a bit of celebratory fun. even if it is by force.

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