credit cards are evil. i must cut them up. but everytime i think about it i just can't bring myself to do it. thus the astronomical debt i am in. not good.

i haven't written in a while. i'm trying to not write about the same old shit that i always write about. i don't want to dwell on things. i don't want to remind myself of how pathetic my life has become. but if i don't write about these things... i have nothing to write about. and i like writing even if it is all the same.

so... C. i know, i know, bad start.

we haven't been hanging out or speaking much and it's been good for me. i almost made it three weeks without seeing him. but S invited me out to watch the world cup with him at a local bar, and failed to mention that C would be there. it's not like i wouldn't have gone if i had known but time apart is good for us. well for me anyway.

we were all just hanging out and it was fine and dandy, the beer was flowing fast and free, overall we had a fantastic night.

i wanted to ask C about slutface, but i wasn't going to bring it up. i didn't have to because he did. he's such a man. he didn't break up with her like he said he was going to. he told me he didn't want to hurt her feelings. he's just been treating her like shit for the last few weeks, like that's any better.

anyway she called him while we were talking... he didn't answer his phone and she left a message. he let me listen to it and she was crying! i felt so bad for her.

he wanted to get my perspective on the message. he thought it was an irrational reaction to not answering her call. yes it did seem irrational considering we were in a noisy bar and the likelihood of him actually hearing his phone ring was small, but he hasn't exactly been the model boyfriend and her reaction was probably because she had finally reached her breaking point.

he then informed me that in the beginning she had told him she was low-maintenance. his idea of a low maintenance woman is probably a bit askew because of me. i really am low maintenance. the only things i asked of C were a quick phone call to say hi everyday and to pick me up some diet coke if he was coming over. and if that didn't happen i really wasn't all that fussed.

slutface's idea of low maintenance is allowing him to hang out with the boys once a week. she turns up at his house in the middle of the night unannounced and wakes him up. she goes postal when he doesn't tell her where he is or invite her out. yeah, she is totally low maintenance.

C asked me if he ever did or said anything to make me scream at him when we were together, because apparently slutface is yelling and screaming at him several times a week. none that i can recall. i'm not really the screaming type, i think i'm too rational and make excuses for people more than i should. plus, when it comes down to it, C was always good to me. and i'm not insecure so i didn't need to be the centre of his attention all the time.

S told me that slutface seems really insecure, that she needs to be the centre of attention and needs to be validated all the time. and that's a bad match for C. he's the life of the party, the centre of attention, he needs a pretty wallflower to be his partner in crime. someone who is content to let him shine while she blends into the background. that's what i did. and it worked pretty good for a while.

this is just getting too long... blah, blah blah, yada, yada, yada... C tells me that he can't take it anymore and is going to end it. i don't think he has the balls. but really she's obviously an overly emotional, insecure psycho hosebeast. there is no way he's gonna get out of this unscathed. the longer he leaves it the more likely she'll be to kill his cheating ass.

cheating? *sigh* yeah... sometimes a girl just needs to get laid. and i'm not the type to fuck random men, i got that kind of behaviour out of my system years ago. i feel bad for slutface, i really do, but i also hate her so it kinda evens itself out. no it doesn't. i was drunk, does that make it better? no? i didn't think so. i suck.

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