this is my second entry for today, if i tagged you see the entry before for details.

ok so i know i'm a loser. i should not bother thinking about things i have no control over. but i just looked at something and the most trivial of things has caused me to have a melt down.

before i mention exactly what is was, i'm gonna work through it by writing about some stuff that led me to looking at this thing. it's got to do with C and slutface so... yeah i wouldn't bother continuing to read.

on saturday night C called me and asked me if i wanted to go out for a drink with him and his brother. making sure that slutface wouldn't be there and faced with a saturday night chatting with random strangers online, i readily accepted the invitation.

it was pretty cool actually. i had a good time.

he apologised for the night before and we talked about what was going on with him and slutface. according to him there's not really anything, they are just hanging out and that he never calls her, basically she's doing the chasing and he likes the fact that he has the power. she doesn't want him hanging out with me because she feels threatened. and she should. nah, i know C and i aren't gonna get back together. but it's nice to know that someone is threatened by me seeing as i'm the least threatening person around.

S did tell me a while ago that the only way that C could have a girlfriend was if he didn't mention who i was to the girl. he reckoned as soon as they found out who i was, they would ask C to stop seeing me. and of course C can't have any conditions put on a relationship so he would inevitably tell them to fuck off. S's reasoning behind this insight, i'm beautiful and ultra cool, no one can measure up. ha! i love S.

anyway i have no idea where i was going with this. i'll just get to the melt down which is no longer worthy of the term melt down. slutface is on myspace, she's linked to me through S and on the odd occasion i check her page to see what's up. on her profile it has always said that she was 'single', today i check and she's 'in a relationship'. it totally threw me. do i think it's with C? well i know that C doesn't consider himself to be in a relationship with her (if he does then he's cheated on her with me and god knows who else), but she does seem to be a little dim and and could quite possibly see her stalking him as a relationship.

i hope it's someone else. even though i can't stand her, as a fellow woman with a problem with unrequited love i know it can be difficult. so i hope she's found another man who actually calls and really wants to be with her, unlike C who seems to be just using her to boost his ego.

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