happy birthday to me.

i am so tired. i am so sick. i've been throwing up all morning, had hardly any sleep, i just want to curl up into a ball and die.

yay, it's gonna be a good day.

last night i celebrated my birthday with the few friends that could be bothered turning up. that was a total of five out of around 15 to 20 people that i invited. it was more than i expected. it was j and her boyfriend... they fought all night and piked really early, jc... she got really wasted and kissed random bogans, the last time i saw her she was getting into a taxi with one of the afore mentioned bogans, and xen and her husband cn... they are the reason i am so sick today, they wouldn't let me go home and everytime i didn't have a drink in my hand they bought me another. i spent no money last night. nice.

i ran into c. xen and cn mentioned that we were celebrating my birthday and c looked as if he wanted to crawl into a hole. good. he should feel bad. i even told him last week that it was today and he still forgot. all i can say to c is get fucked.

i'm not angry.

i'm just a little disappointed. i knew i thought too highly of c. just a bit of a let down when you give the benefit of the doubt for five years to be proved that you were right all along.

i didn't achieve my goal. no kisses from random men last night. i think i need to reassess the way i carry myself. ice queen has been mentioned. mind you the guy that jc went home with was nothing to write home about. i'd rather be alone. but jc has a different approach to meeting men to me. she gets really drunk then goes around making faces and stealing hats and pinching bums of any man in the place. if you behave like that you're bound to meet someone. me on the other hand, i stand/sit around talking to my friends, staring into space, drinking... a combination of the three. yeah there's my problem. not likely to change any time soon.

oh well, i guess i can't put deadlines on things like meeting men. i never worried about it before, i think that now i'm only concerned with it to spite c. juvenile i know. but oh so necessary. well not really but it would be nice.

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