i'm totally bored. everyone is either at work or on holiday. well everyone apart from myself... and my parents. i can't wait until i see my oncologist next week, i can't wait to hear the words "no more chemo", i can't wait to get a full time job and get out of this house. it's not that my parents are horrible or anything like that, they realise i'm an adult and i'll do what i like, they don't bother me too much. the only problem is they are now both retired and are home all day long and i'm not working and am at home all day long... just way too much exposure to the parental units.

i told j that i would move in with her when i get back into the workforce. so she's currently spending her nights on jc's couch or at the hotel where she works. we've found a great place which is a two minute walk from our favourite bar, but j can't afford it by herself so hopefully by the time i get my shit together it will still be available. although, with my luck, i think i may be asking too much.

i'll be so disappointed if i go and see my doctor and he tells me that i have to continue with the chemo because that means that i'll be at home with my parents for at least another year.

i must speak to c before saturday. i need a place to stay. yes, i am using him. finally he's got something i want. no, that's a lie, i mean i do need somewhere to stay but i could just slut myself around and find some guy to spend the night with. alas i'm not that type of girl. sometimes i wish i was, sluts definitely appear to have a good time. j is a slut and she has the best social life of anyone i know. i try to be like her but i don't like the types of men that she attracts... and i'm not really into all the attention she gets. it's fine though. she gets the attention of all these sleazy men, and in order for them to have any chance at all, she tells them they have to buy us drinks. so the guys win because j never turns down a shag, j wins because she gets an ego boost and a shag and i win because without doing anything, i get free drinks. it's the best.

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