my arm hurts.

i have had such a long and boring day. i hate having chemo. i should clarify that. i hate all the waiting around that's involved with chemo.

i sit there hooked up to a drip trying not to move my arm because it stings for roughly three hours. in that time i watch other people having chemo, and their treatments only take fifteen minutes to half an hour. i want their drug. mind you alot of them don't have any hair. the drug cocktail that i have might require being on a drip for what seems to be an excessively long time (in comparison to the other patients) but hair loss is not something i need to worry about. and i'm vain, so i'd rather be uncomfortable and bored for half a day rather than be bald.

it seems so trivial to be concerned about hair, considering for some chemo is a life saver, but in my case it's not. i had a choice. i didn't have a choice on the surgery, i didn't have a choice on the radiotherapy (which did cause my hair to fall out), but they gave me the choice when it came to chemo. my doctor told me that i could choose to have chemo now, or i could wait until the tumour grows back and then get treatment. even with the chemo the tumour is likely to grow back but hopefully this treatment will keep it at bay for a few more years.

i like to make jokes about having cancer. people don't really know if they should laugh. some people find it weird and confronting... possibly even offensive. even now, over a year since the diagnosis, people still walk on eggshells around me.

personally that's kinda offensive to me.

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