i'm feeling a tad hungover. i guess that's what you get when you drink a few bottles of wine follow those up with a decent amount of beer and a just a few cigarettes. ugh. i feel like shit. the feeling of complete crapness is exacerbated by the fact that i slept/passed out sitting upright in an uncomfortable chair at S and C's house. my body feels like it's never gonna recover.

maybe i should give up the booze. is that my new years resolution? it could be because we all know that new years resolutions never stand the test of time. my other new years resolution was stay away from C and his non-girlfriend. again not likely to happen. i wish it would though. it seriously sucks.

on friday night i painted the town red with S. he's so much fun and unlike most men he actually likes to talk about stuff. we knew that C was out and about with his non-girlfriend but i wasn't prepared for the show that i got from her hanging all over him. S wanted to leave and i was glad to get out of there. we walk back to his house and grab a couple of beers and just shoot the breeze. it was an excellent night.

S offered his bed to me so i wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. such a gentleman. i declined the offer and he decided to call C and ask him if he was coming home or not because if not i could sleep in his bed. well C was coming home but he was alone so he said i could sleep in his bed and he would take the couch. and that's exactly what happened until around half past seven. he passed out on the couch woke up a few hours later and wanted to get into bed with me. i let him because it is his bed after all. we did not have sex. but it's not like he didn't try. i then mentioned his non-girlfriend and he said that she wasn't his girlfriend. it's the whole slutface thing all over again. he's with these girls who he treats like shit and they are completely oblivious to the fact that any chance he gets he's trying to shag me. i mentioned that the whole situation was seriously fucked up and he agreed. we didn't talk about what i had said but you know how sometimes you just know what the other person is saying. it was the unspoken version of the talk neither of us really wants to face. roughly translated it went yes i love you but the timing's wrong. and i agree.

first round offers of graduate teaching places come out next week. i'm a little apprehensive. i'm pretty sure i'll get in, but i'm more concerned about moving away. i can't afford to rent somewhere. i don't make friends easily. i have no furniture. but all this and more will get sorted in good time. at least that will take me away from the drama that is my train wreck of a pseudo-friendship with C for a while. i guess i'll just have to wait an see. good thing i'm such a patient person.

oh and rockstarboy. still alive and kicking.

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