i totally give up on getting a half decent job. i've received one reply to more than 50 applications and it just said thanks but no thanks. so that's it. i am not going to apply for anything. i'll live on disability for the rest of my life. *sigh* no i won't.

i just have to suck it up and take a job waiting tables. although at this point in time it's probably the best option, flexible hours means that i don't have to take time off to go to my masses of doctors appointments. so there is an upside... i guess.

the reason that i need to get a job right now is that i've decided to take a counselling course through a private university, so i need to come up with $4000 to pay the fees and then i need an income to pay for all the textbooks and work placements and so on. i know... i just cannot stop studying. i always said that i'd be a professional student, but unlike the course i was thinking of doing before which took two years, this one can be completed in six months. plus they help you get a job! by the end of the year i should have a job that i actually like, well as much as you can like having to work.

my life is so boring at the moment. i didn't even notice until now that it's valentines day. i haven't been shopping, i haven't gone out, i'm in a self imposed quarantine. why? i have no idea why.

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