i am so wrecked. my head is pounding and i've hardly been able to move off the couch since i got home this morning at 6am. why do i do this to myself? because when i'm drinking i don't think about the hangover, i'm only thinking about who's getting the next round.

i wonder how j is doing today. she had to work at 7am, and she was totally wasted when i last saw her at 4:30am.

i had a good (although quite drunken) talk with c last night. he doesn't have my money. he's not sure when he'll come and get his stuff. he needs time away from me to sort himself out, because not a day has gone by that he hasn't thought that maybe breaking up with me was a mistake. and he doesn't know what to say to me. i think he was telling me the truth.

i think it was a mistake for him. not for me. i'm actually fine with it and i'm embracing the single gal within. but c is a fuckwit, and he's not likely to meet anyone who is willing to deal with all his hangups like i am. hopefully he'll meet someone someday who will encourage and inspire him to sort himself out.

enough about c... i need to lie down.

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