this is my first entry in three weeks. you would think that would mean that my life is going smoothly and i have nothing to bitch and moan about. when in reality i do have many things to complain about but i just can't be bothered anymore. my whole life just seems to be one drama after that other. and in most cases it's not even my drama, it's the people around me. i mean the only issue i have with my life right now is the one that's been plaguing my life for the better part of a decade. C. but that's so tired i really don't want to go into that again. it doesn't help any to dwell on it.

my problem is i'm a bleeding heart. and i care too much about other people being happy even if that means that my life and happiness is put on the back burner. i can't stop it. sometimes i feel like i need to grow a spine, that people recognise the fact that i will always put them before myself and they take advantage of that. for example i recently went on holiday in tasmania for nine days with a girl i'm at university with and i basically acted like her personal driver. i had no input into where we went or what we did. and it really got to me but i wanted her to have a good time so i rarely mentioned it. i had to come home to my parent's house to have some me time after that.

i'm tired and hungover... i've got many tales to tell but i can't be bothered writing anymore right now. i'm so lazy.

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