i'm a total lunatic.

C had 'the talk' with slutface. for some reason he called me at 1:30am sunday morning and told me about it. maybe it was so i wouldn't think he was an ass anymore. i don't know. anyway that's not the point.

i feel bad for slutface. she really, really liked him. and she cried. C said it was awful. but that's what it's supposed to be like. even if you don't like the person, if it's a civil sit down and have 'the talk' type dumping it's going to be hard. i mean, sure, a violent fight with throwing of vases and each other's belongings is hard as well, but at the time, you're both so worked up and angry that you just want the other person out of your sight. so initially, that type of break-up is a whole lot easier.

anyway, he said he felt bad, but was very relieved. i must admit i was too, but then i thought about it and i was getting used to him being with slutface. i almost considered using a nicer name for her in my diary. now that it's over between them, i'm going to have to get used to the next slutface that comes along... and i might be back to what i was feeling a few months ago. i hope not. i think i've moved on enough (obviously not all the way) that i'll be more accepting of the next slutface. i'm a lost cause.

C told me that he has never been dumped. he always gets out first. i on the other hand have never broken up with anyone. i'm always the dumpee. hard to believe i know. who are these idiotic men who think they can do better than moi? maybe one day i'll beat one of them to the punch... not likely. i've pretty much been blind-sided with each and every break-up. not that there have been many.

i remember the break-up with my first boyfriend like it was yesterday. nah not really. but i do remember crying and listening to sappy chick music and thinking why? i was devastated that this boy i gave an entire month of my life to didn't want me anymore. he died of a drug overdose a couple of years ago. so sad.

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